Tears...

You could blame it on being pregnant, but the last few weeks have really been all for my first born.  In just 10 short days Jake will turn 4. Did you read that FOUR??? He is so big and acts so grown. We have big kid conversations daily. And he is beside himself to be a big brother.

However, he did let me know that he was never moving out and he will always live with me and Jason. Which at 10 days away from being 4 I will let him believe that. Plus I might need to keep the dream that my little boy is never going to leave his mommy. Although, I do realize that come some preteen or teenage day he is going to inform me he will be moving out.

It seems that this birthday has been exceptionally difficult for me. Or is it that every birthday is hard? He is growing so fast. This birthday though, I keep thinking after this birthday everything is going to change for him. Everything we have done over the last month I think, "next time we do this he won't be an only child any more."

Will he remember when it was just the 3 of us? When he turned four and his sister wasn't here yet.

We were talking about Lily/Lillie(be sure to vote for her name) coming the other day. I asked if he knew that meant she would always be with us? He said, yes...I want her to always be with us. We can't leave her at home." And I said "well, sometimes we can have someone watch her and you & I can have mommy dates." He said, "no, she is always going to come with us." I am sure when the reality of it sets in he might be all for leaving her and having time away. As for me I am trying to soak in every last minute when it is just he and I.