Completing Him

Today is it the final day of the Completing Him summer challenge.  I really am sad to see this challenge come to an end. Of course I know I complete Jason (I am his wife!!!), but it has been so great to have a challenge every week to focus on. Something to put him in the front of my mind all through out the week.



From fun things like remembering our dating days & then keeping our vows sacred. To things that involved daily taking the time to focus on Jason like praying for him daily and specifically asking  him how I can pray for him. Things like admiring him, keeping priorities in line, letting him lead & showing him nothing but respect. Then the big finally kissing him like I mean it. There has been so much good that has come from this challenge.

I think the biggest change for me was taking the time to be sure I was making Jason #2(after God of course). Being a mom it is so easy for Jake's needs/wants to become 1st above Jason. It is so easy to be too tired in the mornings to remember to ask Jason how I can pray for him that day & again  be too tired at the end of the day to admire & respect him for all his hard work.

We have had a wonderful summer making our marriage a priority. We started the summer with our anniversary trip to Savannah just the 2 of us. Our 1st overnight trip away from Jake ever. But it was so good to just be us. It was a great way to focus on our marriage. This challenge then built on our commitment to make time for each other.

I think no matter what is happening in our marriage (or any marriage) the number one thing to remember is communication!!! It seems so simple, but sometimes is the thing that gets pushed to the side. Good solid communication....much more then "how was your day?" conversations. This challenge was a great way to be reminded about communicating about everything. The keeping priorities in line and letting him lead where some of the best weeks for us. We really talked about a lot of things and have made some great changes from those weeks!!

One of the biggest eye opening things for us was seeing God work. During the Let Him Lead week God really showed us how to do that. That exact same week in our nightly devotion reading(Night Light by James Dobson) was about the husband being the leader in the home.(apparently we really needed this) And seriously on Tuesday Jason was offered a new position at his job that would have taken a move(almost 2 hours away) and some really big changes in our home. Not sure if you read that post, but seriously here is the line from that post: I just wonder if I would be so willing to let him lead if it was regarding a big decision that would change our lives. 
I really wrote that not knowing anything about this new job offer. I passed the test(this time). Jason & I talked a lot about this big change and what it would mean. I did offer my opinion, but only when he asked. My answer stayed the whole time that I would support him no matter what choice he made and I would be ready & willing to move if the time came. After lots of praying it turns out Jason decided it wasn't the best plan for us at this time (thank you Lord). But I really did let him come to that decision all on his own...no nagging from me about how horrible it would be to leave our families and friends.


To me it is clear that the Visions of a Leading Man was the biggest week for us. And God really put me to the challenge!!


We learned a lot about each other during this challenge. I am making a commitment to keep these things I have learned a top priority for us. And taking the time for our marriage is now a daily thing!!!

 

Women Living Well

Thank you so much Courtney for putting together this great summer challenge...are you sure you don't want to have a fall marriage challenge too???

Wives Must

Respect!!!

Everyone feels they deserve it. I would have to say I might have known a few people in my life that didn’t deserve any kind of respect at all.

But there is one type of respect that is commanded,

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife MUST respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

So there we have it in black & white God tells us wives we MUST respect our husbands. He doesn’t say if our husband deserves it or if we feel like it that day. God says the wife MUST respect her husband.

I love when God gives us clear commands. There is no question of who He is talking to or of what the wife should do.

This is the Completing Him challenge for the week Respect your husband.

I have spent the last few days (umm…since this post is going up about 4 days late) talking with Jason about respect. And it is amazing how God works. On Tuesday night during our devotional reading it was about wives respecting their husbands. Funny how things seem to work out that way.  But Jason said for the most part he feels respected by me. Of course there are those times of being argumentative and sometimes I do have a problem with wanting to be right, or even an occasional eye roll or really loud sigh. But this week I have really tried to catch myself before doing these things (after all wasn’t it last week that our challenge was to let our husbands lead).

Hearing Jason say that almost always he feels respected by me was a great feeling. And when you respect your husband the natural flow is for him to show you love. That is just how men and women work. The husband wants respect and the wife wants love. I am sure this has something to do with the way Ephesians 5:33 is written with God commanding the husband to love his wife and the wife MUST respect her husband.

If we would all just follow this nice map God has laid out for us there would be a constant flowing happy circle of love & respect (if only it seemed so easy all the time).

I can’t believe next week is the final week in this Completing Him marriage challenge. I am so going to miss this. It has really sparked some great conversations between Jason & me.

If you would like more information about respecting your husband (even one with questionable behavior) Courtney at Women Living Well wrote a great post about it here. And there is also a wonderful book called Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

Visions of a Leading Man

Only a few short weeks left in the Completing Him Challenge. I am going to really miss this challenge when it is over. This weeks challenge is Support his vision.  Discuss with your husband his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, & 10 years? Then share how you let your husband lead.





Ephesians 5:23-24-For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives submit to their husbands in everything.

Letting Jason lead is so hard for me sometimes most of the time. I am a typical type A personality. Wanting to be totally in control of everything and everything being the way I think it should be. Over the last few years I have had to really work on this in our marriage (umm...still working I should say).

I did a Denise Glen Bible study called "Wisdom For Mothers." In this study she says that if your husband is ok with you being the leader then you need to squeeze behind him no matter what and let him lead. This really opened my eyes to things that I just take over and do. Never even thinking about considering Jason's opinion.

Soon after this study I did Elizabeth George's "A Wife After God's Own Heart." This is what I am striving (stumbling) to be each day in my marriage. If you have not done this study before I suggest you pick it up very soon. It will transform your view as your role as a wife.

With Jason being gone so much sometimes it just seems easier for me to take charge and do what I think is right. Or do what I want. Never even running it by him 1st.
My solution to this has become for my answer to be "let me talk to my husband about that." No matter what the "that" might be. I now try & remember to check with him even when I am planning a day with friends or an evening out with my girl friends even when I know he won't be home. Just a quick conversation with him lets me feel like he is leading our family.

There are so many other areas of our marriage that we are still working on me taking a step back and letting him lead. I am really praying through my control issues. That is what it all comes down to in the bigger picture. Me wanting to be in control All.the.time.

And as crazy at it might sound(in 2010) I really do want him to be the leader. Not in a doormat wife kind of way, but as him being the head of our household Biblical way.  I just wonder if I would be so willing to let him lead if it was regarding a big decision that would change our lives. Until we have to come to that type of decision I can pray that I will let him lead.

Because Jason was off on a work trip to Las Vegas for most of last week I wasn't able to cook for him. So last weeks challenge of cooking your husbands favorite meal and the bonus of making his favorite foods all week will also be continuing into this week.

Feed Him Well

 

I didn't get a post done for last weeks Completing Him Challenge. Jason & I had lots of conversations about last weeks challenge (priorities). But I never got around to posting about it. So we will skip right along to this weeks challenge which is: Make your husband a priority. Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert drink are. Be sure to serve him all 3 one night this week. Bonus: make his favorite foods all week.

This weeks challenge is going to have to carry over to next for us. I won't be able to cook Jason's favorite meals all week so I will be doing this all next week too.

I will be making meatloaf, steamed squash, & rice for dinner tonight. One of his favorites.

And I have made pumpkin muffins for breakfast tomorrow. Jason likes most anything pumpkin and thanks to his mom has a huge appreciation for real from the pumpkin not canned pumpkin. During the fall we have started cooking and pureeing pumpkin to keep in the refrigerator all year long. I love being able to pull out a container and make a pumpkin pie in the middle of the Spring or a pumpkin cheesecake during the summer and not have to use canned pumpkin.

Jason's most favorite meal is grilled steak. I have no clue how to use the grill and really no desire to either. Jason is a master at the grill and makes the best stuff. I am sure one day this weekend he will enjoy a grilled steak...me grilled chicken and he will cook it. But truth is he enjoys grilling and would probably be annoyed if I tried to grill for him. I will make his favorite side dishes to go along with his grilled steak.

And then through next week will include the things that I can make that are his favorites for him to enjoy.

Oh and his favorite drink is sweet tea...the sweeter the better. And honestly this is probably pretty high on his list of priorities for me to have a gallon of sweet tea in the refrigerator all the time!!

I love cooking for my family and trying new recipes so it will be so much fun going through the recipes this week and talking to Jason about what he wants to eat each night.

Admiration

This weeks Marriage challenge is: Admire Your Husband. If you are a blogger write a post all about your husband and what you admire in him and then show it to him! He will smile! If you are not a blogger, list the things you admire about your husband in the comment section and show it to him!


Showing it to him is so important. You may THINK he already knows the things you admire about him - but I'm afraid we don't tell our husbands often enough how much we do. 

I am so late in posting my completing him challenge this week. Monday was still a holiday for us(or at least we treated it that way). And then I have just spent some time today updating the blog. So here I am on Thursday posting my Monday marriage challenge. I guess it is better to do it late then not at all. Especially on such a week as this.

Here are some things I admire about Jason...my wonderful husband.


1. He is a hard worker. He really takes his role as provider seriously and works A LOT. He is gone from 9am-10pm almost every single day. This is why we cherish his off days so much.


2. Which brings me to point number 2. He would rather spend his off time with us then out doing other things he enjoys like golfing.


3. He really is a total family man...and I love him for it.


4. The Dad he is to our sweet boy...melts my heart every time I see or hear them interacting. And you can totally tell that Jake thinks his daddy hung the stars and moon(sometimes I too have to remind myself that he didn't).


5. He is completely forgiving. Sometimes I can hold a grudge. (not so much with him, but with others who hurt me or make me mad). But Jason forgives others even for terrible things they do.


6. He is so compassionate and caring. To his family first, but then to those he is around as well.  His heart is so big!


7. He is so funny & fun to be around. He can come up with some of the best one liners to make you smile or roll on the floor cracking up.


8. He takes life in stride. I tend to be a total control freak or worrier. Jason is so great about helping me see that things will really work out according to God's plan. No amount of worry or controlling will change that. He can be so calm in stressful situations.


I could probably go on and on telling you all the wonderful things I admire about my husband.  But for now we will stop here.


Thank you Jason for being a man I can truly admire in all you do! All my love Always!

Pray for Him

This is week 4 of the Completing Him Challenge at Women Living Well this weeks challenge is Ask your husband every morning how you can pray for him that day. Bonus: Fast and pray for him one day this week.

I have to say I do pray for Jason every day during my quiet time & then I also read the prayer coordinating with the date from "The Power of a Praying Wife" book (a great read).

But I very rarely ask Jason if there is anything specific he needs me to pray about. I am sure he has things that I don't pray about...simply because I don't ask him what he needs me to pray for.  I suppose I have been assuming what he wants me to pray for. I love the idea of asking him what his specific prayer requests are for each day.

Looking forward to seeing God work in my husband through prayer!!

From This Day Forward

Completing Him Challenge Week 3!! Yeah it is all about our wedding day. I just shared a post with a few wedding pictures when we celebrated 6 years on May 22!! But I love sharing our wedding...after all it was one of the happiest days of my life!

Our wedding was a fairy tale dream come true. Everything I ever wanted it to be. It was an outside garden wedding in May...beautiful!! Well, except for the small fact that it rained ALL morning. We were scheduled to start pictures at 4pm before our 6pm wedding time. Did I mention everything was outside. We had a back up plan, but it wasn't pretty. Thankfully at 3pm it cleared up...the rain was gone just in time. And by a blessing actually cooled the day off some. The night before at our rehearsal it was SO hot!!!

In total fairy tale style I rode up in a horse and carriage where my dad & step-dad awaited  to walk me down the isle to my handsome groom.

We had a lot of the traditional things beautiful vows & a sweet poem we recited back to each other Jason starting then each saying every other line:
Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away
and all the things I want to say can find no voice
Then, in the silence I always know
my eyes will speak my heart.

Our Pastor had been my Pastor for many years and was also the same Pastor who married my mom & step-dad. It was such a joy to have him marry us one of the thing she share with us was a saying he had seen before it said: "I enjoyed your wedding. Will I be invited to your marriage? God"

Mixed in with the traditional we threw in a few nontraditional too. Instead of a unity candle we poured sand. Since we were having our wedding outside I was worried about it being windy and the candles going out. Sand was the perfect option. We each had different colors of sand. Especially once I found a great reading about it: "As you pour most of the sand from these two containers into the one container, the grains of sand will be joined together as one, never to be separated again." I loved how true this is...we will never be able to completely separate my purple sand from his blue sand and have them be their own color. This is the way we want our marriage to be never able to separate!

After our wonderful ceremony he headed to the back yard of our wedding site for a super fun reception! And then Jason & I were off to happily ever after wedded bliss. With a honeymoon in the happiest place on earth...Disney World!!

Dating Days

We met when I was 15 and started working at Little Caesar's Pizza...the same place he worked. Because Little Caesar's was the best place to work and we really didn't do any "working" at all we just hung out at work. Everyone would come up there just to hang out.  At 15 this was the best job to have. And because of all the hanging out working Jason & I were able to become good friends.

The summer after my high school graduation we started spending time together... not just at work. We had the best time hanging out and just getting to know each other aside from the work stuff. Before we knew it we were dating and together ALL the time!



 I really don't remember the exact moment that we officially started dating. But I do know that when I was 16 I told all of my friends I would one day marry Jason. They all laughed because at this point we weren't even dating. It took almost 2 years, but we did start dating! 

During the shuffle of life we have lost the spontaneity of dating. I am sure it has something to do with the responsibilities of being an adult and not to mention our precious 2 year old Jake. It makes it a little harder to head out for a late dinner when you have to get a baby sitter or you are tired from the day.

But this is definitely something that I will be focusing on now that I have had to reflect. I am sure we still won't be as spontaneous and carefree as when we were "just" dating, but I know there is a way to have a happy medium with where we are now.

Completing Him

Proverbs 31:10-12

A wife of noble character who can find? 

She is worth far more than rubies. 

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.

I am doing my first link up. I know most of you who read for Jake updates won't be too interested, but you can just skip these posts. 

This blog Women Living Well is a great Christian lady who shares her heart and passion for Christian marriages along with tons of other great things too. Looking forward to joining her through the summer during this Completing Him Challenge. Click the image to see her blog & learn more about this summer challenge!!

I can't wait to see the way God will work in my marriage through this challenge.